From the heart xo

That fickle thing called love

February 10, 2019 /

In lue of Valentines day around the corner, or love day as I like to call it, I thought it appropriate to make my next post about the most common thing we share. Love! It’s a tricky business isn’t it! (If you’re a rabid Friends fan like I am, you’ll know where that line is from) Love drives everything! Love for a pet, partner, family member, friend. Love for cooking, movies, music, sports. Love for a job, books, exercise, travelling… anything and everything. Love is applicable to all we do and the main feeling humanity shares! I’m not the biggest fan of Valentines day, as I’ve said before we don’t need one specific day to show our love and affection to whomever and whatever our choice. I’m not one to need the gifts, fancy date, flowers or a card BUT the candy/chocolate i’ll never say no to! It is sweet tho to have a day worldwide in the calendar year solely focused on the best thing in the world!! Although like I said, it can be tricky!! Love can be beautiful, it can also be sad. Love can build us up or tear us down. The feeling when two people are in love is beautiful, just having that one person that you love more than anyone. A special person no one compares to and you can’t imagine your life without. To have that is a blessing! Lost love, whether it be a break up or a death, is unbearable! The loss and missing of them is devastating and can bring on symptoms reminiscent of physical pain. Love for a daily routine, like writing and cooking are for me, can make you feel comforted and be freeing! Unrequited love will make your heart hurt and sometimes make you feel not good enough. Love for travelling can make you feel relaxed and exhilarated. There are so many different aspects of love, good and bad. Love makes us vulnerable, which as we know is not even close to a feeling I enjoy!! It’s crazy to think this feeling that drives us daily can makes us feel so high and so low. Relationships of all kind have their own unique stories. There’s the easy love stories like my best friend and her fiance whom have never really even fought. My parents, they have had their own ups and downs for sure but have never really had hard times. They fell in love right away, married after three months and have been together ever since. An easy partnership going through life as team! Then there’s other relationships that have been through their own types of despair and have come out on the other side. There are many that I know of, people I personally know and celebrities that inspire me. The one story that I love so much is Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith. Jada Pinkett Smith hosts a show on Facebook called Red Table Talk. I came across it last year. She talks about such powerful subjects. Racism, survivors of trauma, Mental health issues, religion, the newer episodes are about the horrible events going on due to R Kelly. There were two episodes on her and Wills relationship called “unique union”. I was so surprised to find out the truth about their relationship. To everyone they seem like the perfect couple with the best relationship. Just flowing so easily together, great life, always having fun and never seem to have a problem. I always thought they were the lucky ones, an example of an easy love story. Shockingly, on the contrary! In an interview with the couple, Jada shares that the relationship started when Will called her and asked her if she was seeing anyone. She told him she wasn’t and he responded with “Ok, you’re seeing me now”. That was it, she moved from Baltimore that day to Los Angeles to be with Will and never went back. Too cute! Well, they share in the interview that their relationship to the outside world has looked perfect but on the inside they went through their own “personal hell”. Jada says there was a time where for forty five days straight she would wake up in the morning and cry. Not for reasons of infidelity or to that extreme, she just wasn’t happy. Will recalls that his and Jada’s fighting style were very different. She would scream, swear, get a little physical but he was completely opposite. He grew up in a household where that’s how they fought. Yelling, screaming, swearing. He said he didn’t want to raise his kids or have a marriage like his parents did. She was a little shocked at the no swearing rule but she loved and respected him so they went to communication counselling. Will says it was at least twenty years before they swore again. The couple shares that sometimes they felt like the other was ungrateful. When Jada had the kids she resented Will for years for him getting to have the career he loved and she just stayed home and took care of the kids, catering to his life. The couple shares that when Jada turned forty, they had enough. They couldn’t do it anymore. Jada quotes “One day our marriage just came crashing down”. They said they had to destroy their relationship to rebuild it. They separated for two years before they came back together. After hitting rock bottom, they climbed back up together and they have never been better. Honestly, as a fan of the couple, I was shocked to learn they went through all of that and for so many years. Who would’ve thought!! Although no one wants to go through those tough times for sure, the way they communicate with each other now and their unconditional love is couple goals!! When asked why they never got divorced, Jada says it was never an option. Will said that if he divorced her he would spend his life looking for someone like her, in vein! How freaking cute!! To love someone so much that no matter how low it can get you know you will never give up on them or want anyone else. That no matter what, you will love them only forever even if your so hurt by them because life is tough and it wont always be a bed of roses. To know you will never find anyone else like them! That is relationship goals for me and i’m sure for everyone! That not only applies to romantic relationships but other loving relationships as well. You might have a rough patch with a friend or family member but no matter what you will always love them and not want to have a life without them! That’s the thing when it comes to love we usually think of it as this one way… perfect, easy, joyous, no tough times but that’s not necessarily always true. What makes the relationship IS the love you have for your partner. Hey, I love my dog more than anything but sometimes he makes me so angry. See, ups and downs! Love is my favourite thing tho, no matter what. The common goal in this world is to find your person to share your life with and what is life if going through it alone? Love is beautiful. It is strengthening. It is comforting. Even in the hard times of it, it teaches us something valuable!! It’s so cliche but love is everything!! So on the 14th, I hope everyone has love around them in some form. I hope we all get the good parts of love because we deserve it. Love makes the world go round and the more good love we send into the universe the more we will get back in return.

Peace, Love & happy love day xoxo

*Red Table Talk is a Facebook show. The videos and subject matters are really helpful and motivating!! Check out Will and Jada’s personal episodes. Their love, hard work with each other and on themselves personally and their emotional maturity will inspire you and warm your heart!

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