From the heart xo,  Goodies

Relationship Goals!

November 30, 2017 /

Yesterday was my amazing parents thirty fifth wedding anniversary.. Wow thirty five years! It’s so rare nowadays for a marriage to survive even 10 years. The divorce rate is now at 50%, that means only half of marriages last… how sad is that?! I have never been that little girl who dreamt of her wedding day when I was a kid. Never hung a pillow case on my head pretending it was a veil. Never planned out a 100 plus person wedding, thought of what colour scheme or dress I wanted but I did always want to be with one person for the rest of my life! Marriage was something I always wanted for myself and I have been lucky enough to have such a great example of marriage from my parents!! So this blog is an ode to the incredible example of love, marriage and really, people in general, that my parents are.

My parents met each other when my mom was twenty one and my dad was twenty. They were both born and raised in Portugal and moved to Canada when they were in their younger years with their families. My mother moved to Quebec and my father to Toronto in their teenage years. When my mom was eighteen, she moved to Toronto to live with some of her family. My parents are both Jehovah’s Witnesses and they met through a mutual friend who also was one. I always remember my dad saying he had a big crush on my mom, understandably so, she’s a babe!! My dad is quite handsome and super cool himself!! My whole life all my friends always had crushes on my parents and funny enough still do! My parents started dating and after only three months, they got married. Now when I tell people the story of how my parents got married so quickly and are still together to this day, they are always amazed. Kind of sad to be shocked that a marriage can last so long, that’s how it should be really! My parents were twenty two and twenty one when they had me. Babies having babies. They hardly had any money and now they were parents at such a young age. I wasn’t planned, my mom actually never wanted to have kids. My dad was indifferent, he was happy either way. My father was and still is a very talented construction worker, he could literally build a house on his own but that wasn’t his dream. He’d always tell me he loved science, chemicals and the elements intrigued him. Working in a lab probably would’ve been his first choice of work but he was a young married man with a baby and had to take whatever job he could to sustain life for his family. My mother was a make-up artist, working for Clinique at Hudsons Bay. Her make-up is flawlessly done still to this day! She became a stay at home mother after a while because it was hard to find someone to watch after me since her family was in Quebec and my dads family wasn’t able to help. So my dad became the sole bread winner. A lot of pressure for a young family, but they stuck through it. Eventually when I was two years old we moved to Quebec to live with my grand mother. Housing and life expenses were cheaper and having family around to help out made life easier for my parents. I remember when I was pretty young my dad travelled to The Bahamas for six months to help build the popular hotel The Atlantis. Six months away from your wife and daughter to make some good money to help the family was really hard on him and us. When I say my dad is the best dad in the world, to me he truly is!! Even though they were so far from each other for six months, they yet again stuck it through. Nowadays, there would probably have been some affair that happened in the meantime since people are selfish and can’t work through months without their loved one. They eventually bought their own house and moved out of my grand mothers. I loved that house. My room was partially shaped as an octagon, the bathroom had a massive tub and a shower in the wall, the kitchen had floor to ceiling cupboards and french doors going out to the backyard where we had a hammock I loved to lie on. I still think of that house all the time! Since we’re Jehovah’s Witnesses, we didn’t celebrate all the things a young kid would want to but my parents were amazing and never let me feel left out. On Halloween I remember they made a scavenger hunt of candy throughout the house so that I could get candy too and have fun like the other kids did on that day. They’d always acknowledge my birthday, not on the day but on a surrounding day. They were definitely stricter than most parents, but now in my older age I understand it was only coming from a place of protection! When I was fifteen, they bought a house in Toronto and we moved back. I always knew we’d go back one day. Being a teenager who was eventually gonna leave the friends I had my whole life, they thought it was best to prepare me! For such young kids to become such great parents, I hope one day I am half as good of a parent as they are! In Toronto my mother got a great job at a law firm and my dad excelled in his field. They came from nothing really, didn’t have the luxury of help from their parents and here they were in their thirties with a nice new home in Toronto. When I say I am so proud of my parents, that’s really an understatement. They stuck together through so many hardships, that now in our generation would tear a couple apart. No affairs, no separation, no love lost, no giving up. They stayed a team and worked through life together and still do! Not because they have to but because they want to. They are best friends, going on trips two times a year together. They still go out for dinner, go on road trips and go shopping. They still enjoy each others company and the fact that they are so different personality wise too is even more amazing. My dad is so sweet and calm. My mom is outspoken and super social. In these times if a couple have different likes, personalities or interests, they break up. If they see someone more attractive or get attention from another person or think the grass is greener, they cheat. If there’s too many struggles in life, they lose love. Marriage isn’t just a convenience and when that’s gone you file for divorce. Marriage is sticking through the worst times together, working as a team, loving each other always. Compromise, being faithful even when things get tough or someone seems like a better option at the time. Having fun together, keeping the excitement alive, really just being best friends in life. My parents marriage has taught me that! They not only in marriage, but as people have made me so proud. They are so strong and responsible. They are always there when I need any kind of help and give the best advice. They are so loving, generous and considerate. They support me in all my hair brained life schemes. They’re funny and fun people. They worked hard and stuck through some rough times together and now are doing so well in life. I hope that one day i have a marriage like theirs. That sustains the tests of time like theirs do. My parents are truly my best friends, the two people I could never imagine living without. They have helped, supported and loved me more in my life than anyone!

My incredible parents… I hope you both know how much appreciation I have for you. How proud and lucky I am that you are my parents and that nobody loves you both more than I do!!

Peace, Love & Family xoxo

 

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