From the heart xo

*Reflection*

November 23, 2018 /

This past week, I’ve had time to reflect on my life up until now, and the one word that keeps coming to mind is strength.

I recently turned thirty-four. And let me tell you, that was a big birthday for me. We all have a “scary” age—that one number that feels like a looming deadline, a reminder of everything we thought we’d have figured out by now. For some, it’s about feeling old. For others, it’s the realization that life isn’t exactly where they pictured it would be. For me, that age is thirty-five.

So turning the year before my scary age? Yeah, it hit different.

I’ve never been the type to obsess over numbers or where my life should be at a certain milestone. You never know what’s going to happen, so why tie your happiness to an expectation? Age is just perception anyway, right? And yet… something about thirty-five makes my stomach clench. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s halfway to forty (and to all my forty-and-over people, I am not calling you old, I promise). In fact, I know forty isn’t old. Fifty, sixty, life can still change in ways you never expected. It can still surprise you, the same way it did in your twenties, when everything felt unpredictable and chaotic.

And honestly? I don’t miss my twenties. Those years were a mess of emotions, instability, and vulnerable self-discovery. You think you know everything, but you really don’t. You’re trying to figure out your career, your finances are all over the place, your priorities are blurred. People come and go, and you don’t always appreciate the ones who matter. Sure, my mid to late twenties were fun, some of the most spontaneous and wild moments of my life happened then, but eventually, you stop craving the chaos.

And that’s where strength comes in. Because no matter what age you are, life will throw things at you, things you never saw coming. Some good. Some brutal. And the only way through it? Strength.

I’ve always been the type of person to wonder, Why do bad things happen to me when I’m a good person? Or worse, Things are going too well… should I brace for what’s about to go wrong? I hate that my brain works that way. But I’m realizing that strength isn’t just about pushing through hard times, it’s about changing your mindset and rolling with the punches. It’s about choosing how you react to life’s curveballs. Though, if you ask my mom, she’d say it’s about the choices I make, but that’s a whole other topic for another time.

Strength isn’t just about survival. It’s about the way we handle things, the way we learn from them, the way we grow from them. And we all have regrets, don’t we? Actions we wish we could take back. Choices we’d do differently. But perfection is impossible, and the fact that regret even exists proves that.

Strength shows up in so many ways: Staying strong through life’s toughest moments. Having the emotional strength to admit when we’re wrong. Taking the first step toward real change. Fighting for what we want, whether it’s a job, a home, healing, or love. Choosing not to give up when things don’t go as planned.

I looked up the definition of strength, and this stood out to me: “Strength goes beyond emotions and addresses the thoughts and behaviours that affect your overall quality of life. Mental strength involves developing daily habits that build mental muscle. It also involves giving up bad habits that hold you back.”

I love that. Because when it comes down to it, don’t we all want to feel strong? Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally. To be able to say, I am strong and truly believe it.

Strength is waking up in the morning and pushing through your daily routine, even when everything in you wants to stay in bed. Strength is fighting an illness, running a marathon, having a baby, or even just walking my 120-pound dog (which, I swear, is a workout in itself).

Strength is going through trauma and coming out the other side. Acknowledging your own flaws and working to fix them. Loving yourself despite them. It’s choosing joy, even when that little voice in your head tells you to expect the worst. It’s being unselfish. Choosing to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Not seeking revenge when you’ve been hurt. Fighting the bad decisions that seem like the more fun option.

Strength is choosing love.

It’s realizing that we can’t always fix ourselves on our own, and having the strength to ask for help when we need it. It’s taking responsibility for our actions, knowing that karma is always watching. It’s maintaining relationships, even when it’s hard.

It’s not being too hard on ourselves when we screw up. It’s knowing when to walk away. It’s staying when it’s worth it. It’s refusing to give up on ourselves and others, even when it feels impossible.

So if you’re going through something right now, something heavy, something that makes you wonder how you’ll ever get through it, I wish you strength.

Strength to keep going. Strength to take action. Strength to choose love over hate, forgiveness over resentment. Strength to let go of your ego and just be. Strength to be the best version of yourself, even in the moments where you doubt everything. Strength to say no to bad decisions, or yes to intimidating ones. Strength to fight, for your dreams, your health, your happiness.

Because here’s the thing: It takes strength to have strength.

Life is hard. And it takes major strength just to get through it. To make great things happen. To keep believing, even when it feels easier to give up.

And if you’re anything like me, you’re also going to need a lot of strength to survive this next six months of winter. But hey, if we can do that, we can do anything.

Peace, Love & stay strong everyone xoxo

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