From the heart xo

Ode to the loves of my life!

June 24, 2019 /

I’ve been a writer since I was a little girl. I write to process, to escape, to remember. I write when I can’t find the words to say out loud. When my emotions feel too big, too tangled, too heavy to carry inside my chest. I write about moments I don’t want to forget—the good ones, the bad ones, the ones that shaped me. And I write to relive—to travel back to the summers I never wanted to end, to the nights that felt like magic, to the heartbreaks that, at the time, I thought I’d never recover from.

But today, I’m writing about something different. Gratitude. It hit me last night as I was listening to The Cranberries—one of my all-time favourite bands. Ode to My Family came on, and something about it just got me. Maybe it was the melody, soft and haunting, or maybe it was the way her voice carried so much rawness, so much love and longing. It made me want to write my own ode.

So this—this is for the loves of my life. Every night before I go to sleep, I have a ritual. I write down three things I’m grateful for. And somehow, they’re always the same:

  • My parents
  • My best friends
  • My son (who, yes, happens to be a dog, but that’s just a minor technicality)

We all have those things, don’t we? The things we couldn’t imagine life without. The ones that anchor us, define us, remind us of who we are. These are mine.

My parents. I hit the jackpot with them. I really did.

They are kind, loving, wise, selfless. The kind of people who would give the shirts off their backs if someone else needed them more. No matter what life throws at them, they find a way to through it. And yes our relationship is definitely not perfect. We are very different in many ways and growing up it wasn’t easy to have such different views. It hasn’t been easy these past few years. Life has tested us in ways I never saw coming. And yet, they never lost hope. They never stopped showing up, for themselves, for me, for the people they love. They’re a team in every sense of the word—two kids who had nothing but each other and built a life out of love and sheer determination. They never gave up—on each other, on me. My parents are my greatest inspiration. They are my definition of love. And no matter how many times I tell them to put themselves first, they never do. They always worry about me first. I don’t know what I did to deserve them, but I will never stop being grateful. Mom and Pops, I love you always!

My sisters by choice. My forever people! I hear it all the time. “You’re so lucky to have friendships that have lasted over twenty years.” And I know it. It’s rare these days, but we made it. Through every first—first loves, first heartbreaks, first jobs, first apartments. Through wild nights out and quiet nights in, through living in different cities and different time zones, through growing up and growing apart only to find our way back again. We’re family.

These women, my sisters in every way that matters, have been there through everything. They are my safe place, my reality check, my cheerleaders, my voice of reason when my own is a little too impulsive. And yes, if I ever move to New York (which, let’s be honest, is always on my mind), they’ll forgive me. Because they’ll have a free place to crash—moochers. But they’d be with me anywhere, just like I’d be with them. Because that’s what we do. We show up for each other. Always. Girls, I love you. More than you’ll ever know.

My son with four furry legs. My mom will roll her eyes when she reads this. “Oh, please, Shaira.” But it’s true. Otis is my life partner. Some people don’t get it, and that’s fine. But if you’ve ever loved an animal, if you’ve ever had a pet that looked at you like you were their whole world, then you know. They are our children. They need us. They love us. And, in return, we love them with everything we have.

Otis is my shadow, my little heartbeat that follows me from room to room. He sleeps next to me, wakes up with me, waits for me at the door, tail wagging like I’m the best thing to ever happen to him. He doesn’t know what “bad days” are—he just knows when I have one. He senses it, and in those moments, he is nothing but love. I read once that animals are the only beings who love us more than they love themselves. And if you’ve ever been loved by a dog, you know that’s the truth.

Otis has been there through my hardest moments. When the world felt too heavy, when my heart felt too shattered, when I didn’t know how I was going to make it through, he was there. No judgement. No expectations. Just love. And yes, he’s a BIG pain in the ass sometimes. But I wouldn’t trade him for anything. Not even when he stares me down while I’m eating, or barks at imaginary ghosts, or refuses to go outside when it’s raining like he wasn’t born in Canada. My home wouldn’t be my home without him in it.

Life can be tough. That’s not a secret. Sometimes, it’s easier to dwell on the hard things, the painful things, the things that make us question why the world is the way it is. But gratitude changes that. It shifts the focus. It reminds us of the good. I started writing down what I’m grateful for every night after stumbling upon a post that encouraged it. And honestly? It changed something in me. It’s a small thing, but it makes a difference.

Because time moves fast. So fast. And if we’re not careful, we get lost in the routine, in the rush, in the things that don’t matter as much as we think they do. So I encourage you to try it. Write down what you’re grateful for. Think about it before you fall asleep. Say it out loud to the people you love. It puts a smile on your face. It makes you appreciate what you have while you have it.

Because at the end of the day, what really matters? The people we love. The ones who make life worth living. The ones we couldn’t imagine our world without. And for me, that’s them. My parents. My best friends. My boy, Otis. And I’ll never stop being grateful.

“Close friends and family are truly life’s treasures. Sometimes they know us better than we know ourselves. With gentle honesty, they are there to guide and support us, to share our laughter and tears. Their presence reminds us that we are never really alone!” – Vincent Van Gogh

Peace, love & always be thankful xoxo

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