From the heart xo,  Stand up!!

Hint… Hint…

February 27, 2019 /

Do you believe in signs??
I definitely do, always have!! Subtle little moments, sounds or objects that are trying to tell you something. What a wonderful thought that the universe is trying to guide us with symbols! That you’re on the right path, to steer clear of a decision, that a presence is watching over you. My whole life, throughout whatever I do, I have always asked God for a sign. I always try to spot some kind of hint to help with my decisions. I know it sounds like Hocus Pocus but that’s just me and something I have always done. The reason I bring this up is lately I have been finding dimes everywhere!! Not just coins, specifically dimes! In the weirdest of places too. Wedged in the baseboard of my kitchen and bedroom, one random dime in my jacket pocket, in my work desk, in my shoe, just walking along the street on the ground shining up at me. A couple of weeks ago my coworker just handed me one for good luck and yesterday morning I put my coffee cup in my car cup holder and there was a dime just neatly resting in the center console. Not combined with my other change, stuck in between my seats or slanted from falling out of my hand but just appeared to be like it was gently placed there… at first I thought it was a coincidence when I kept finding them around my house but now it’s just getting strange!
I googled what it means to be randomly finding dimes everywhere (since I like me some signs) and this is what I found:
“The spiritual meaning of finding dimes goes back to the value of a dime, the number 10 is symbolic of the circle. This can be interpreted as coming full circle. Throughout history, finding the same coin has represented the presence of a loved one. Often believed that when an individual keeps finding the same coin consistently, a departed loved one is leaving a symbol that he/she is looking out for them. Dimes are found usually when said person is at a changing point in their life. 10 represents beginnings and totality. It can also symbolize a confirmation of a decision or thought” Intense! Possible interpretations were: A message from the beyond (kinda creepy), someone or something is trying to get your attention, validation of a decision or path, a reminder that you are loved and valued, a sign that positive changes are afoot as the dime resembles a token, since the dime is a tiny circle it symbolizes coming full circle, unity and fulfillment. A reminder to pay attention, keep watching and keep your eyes open. Crazy since it’s pretty appropriate for the moment I am currently at in my life. The one that stands out to me the most is coming full circle. For a VERY long time I have not felt like myself. I have previously spoken about this in my past blogs. There were so many things that changed in me and not for the good! I became so insecure and a worrier which is SO not me. It’s funny, whenever I think of me being such a worry wart the past few years I always think of when I moved to Australia. My mother was so anxious about me going. When talking to a guy friend of mine that I have known since I was a teenager, his answer to comfort her was “Eh you know Shaira, always so spontaneous. You don’t have to worry about her, she’s always fine!” I actually really loved that answer because it was so me. I WAS always so spontaneous that I made major changes in my life without even a worry! The same friend also said to me recently “You know yourself Shaira, even during the toughest of times you always make it through!” He has such confidence in me as a person!! So did I, where the hell did that girl go? She was gone for way too long. My age and being diagnosed with anxiety i’m sure was a big factor but I realize it now it had a lot to do with my environment as well! I saw this quote the other day that said: “When a flower is in dark, dry, harsh weather it withers away. When it is in sunny, dewy, beautiful weather it blooms.” I withered away!! I put myself willing, and idiotically wanted to stay, in an environment that made me wilt. Where I wasn’t the most beautiful flower when I should’ve been. That I was just another flower in the end. That my thorns were focused on, more than my beauty was. When all I did was overlook all their thorns. I was disrespected in more ways than one. I wasn’t the face in the crowd that stood out when I should’ve been and naturally like it would anyone, made me so insecure. I was fading away because of my environment and no one cared to nurture me back to full bloom, not even myself. I was eventually dried out, tossed in the trash to be replaceable and deep down I knew eventually I would be but really, that was my fault! I let that happen! I gave them a chance to disrespect me more than once, to make me feel like I wasn’t special, to make me feel like I wasn’t good enough, to make me insecure, to make me feel irreplaceable and I sadly believed it. I forgot all the great qualities about myself, what makes me unique, all the reasons why I was always so confident in myself before. I eventually lost a lot of those qualities and I myself let it all happen. One of my best friends the other day called me “Our little ray of sunshine”. You know that I was kind of surprised when she said that about me, sad eh. The confidence that I use to have being so questionable now. I haven’t felt like that ray of sunshine for a long time because of all the things I had been through and really, how dare I let myself lose who I am due to anyones words or actions! I will forever be mad at myself for that!! To come full circle is “after a long series of changes and events the same thing you started with still exists!” There was no need for Shaira to wither away. I was so proud to be the girl I was before. So happy with life and myself. Strong, cool, confident, always goofy and special because we all are in our own way! We all have great, unique things that define us. My best friends are all so different but each have specific qualities that make them stand out beautifully in different ways. Michelle is the nicest person I know. Always so happy, her positivity and joie de vie is so infectious! Ines is the corniest person, her old world romantics are too cute. She is so supportive no matter what and she gives the best advice! Diana always reminds you to look at the positives in any situation. She’s so strong and always wants to go out and do something fun! I’m a big kid at heart and adventurous. On a daily sarcastic and silly. Always trying to be kind and stand up for the little guy! I did NOT stand up for myself in those days tho. I didn’t fight to not let my surroundings change me as a person. I am so not proud of that girl! So maybe that’s what the dimes are telling me. That I am coming back full circle to myself. That I was fighting for her but not hard enough! To never let anyone, no matter who they are or how much you care about them, change the way you view yourself! To remember your self worth! To remember the things you love about yourself and not let anyones opinion change that. If you are going through the same thing as me just remember… you are beautiful!! You are enough! Your scars don’t define you but make you who you are. You are so special. You are worthy of fighting for. You deserve value and respect! Don’t change yourself no matter what the surroundings. You are literally irreplaceable! Refrain from arrogance but also don’t lose yourself to insecurities. You deserve to be the only one because there is only one you!! Learn from your mistakes and work your hardest to be your best self, even if it takes a million tries, as long as you try. The people who truly love you with no condition, like the people who deserve to be in your life should, will always love you and see your worth!! Love yourself no matter what! Don’t let family, friends, your boss, bullies, acquaintances, anyone at all devalue you and ever let you question your own worth! We all make up the population of this world, appreciate and love yourself because there is only one of you on this planet! Oh and if you start to forget that, keep an eye out for some sneaky little dimes popping up to remind you!

(I know that was all super cheesy but all very true, because I believe in you and you should ALWAYS believe in you too!)

Peace, Love & you are BEAUTIFUL xoxo

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