From the heart xo

Family over everything!!

February 16, 2019 /

Monday is Family Day, and honestly, it’s about time we had a holiday that celebrates the most important thing in the world—the people we call home. Family comes in all shapes and forms. Blood-related, chosen, self-made, even the furry kind. Some families are built by birth, others by choice, but at the core of it all, family is the foundation of who we are.

Blood ties mean something, of course. Parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles—they’re often the people who shape us the most, even when we don’t see them every day. Some family bonds are unshakable, others fall apart despite the blood that connects us. Not every family relationship is easy, and not every one of them lasts.

I have family in Portugal I’ve never met. Others I only have vague childhood memories of. One of my uncles in Quebec shaped so much of my personality, but after moving to Toronto, we drifted. Yet, when I close my eyes, I can still see my cousins and me in his olive green Volkswagen Westfalia, driving through the countryside, the sunroof open, watching the stars at night. That van was magic. It had pull-down bunk beds, a tiny kitchen, and a pull-out table stored in the trunk. I loved that van. I loved what it represented. Freedom. Adventure. A time when life felt simple. Years later, when my uncle sold it, I was crushed. Not because of the money (turns out those vans are worth a fortune now), but because it was a piece of my childhood that I wanted to hold on to forever. Maybe that’s why I still feel a little hippie-ish.

My uncle never conformed—he didn’t do the 9-to-5 thing. He worked odd jobs, loved flowers so much he still works for the Tulip Festival in Ottawa every year, and always had music playing in his backyard, where friends gathered in a giant sandbox he built just because he could. He was and still is a lover of people, of life, of living outside the lines. And even though my parents are the complete opposite of hippies, somewhere inside of me, that free spirit stuck. It’s funny how family leaves traces of themselves in us, even when they’re not around.

I’m an only child, but my best friends are my sisters. We’ve been through everything together. First loves, heartbreaks, wild nights, career changes, health scares, loss, joy, growing up and growing apart only to find our way back again. They are my self-made family. We aren’t perfect—we fight, we disagree, we take breaks from each other when needed. But no matter what, we show up. That’s what family does.

And then there’s the families we build in love. A person to share everything with—the small, everyday moments that somehow become the most important ones. Eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. Lazy weekends spent doing nothing but still being so happy in each other’s company. The simple routine of knowing you belong to someone. Your partner in crime. A forever family. Someone to walk through life with, knowing they will never leave. Someone who is not just a partner, but home.


And then there’s our fur family. People who don’t have pets might not get this. But those of us who do? We know. My dog isn’t just a pet. He’s my son. I feed him. Bathe him. Make sure he doesn’t get sick or hurt. When he does, I panic like a mother. One time, he stepped on a nail and his paw got so infected, it swelled up twice its size. I ran to the store at 1 AM to buy allergy pills before we even knew what was wrong. I soaked his foot in salt water three times a day, wrapped it up, made sure he didn’t lick at it. We panic like they are our children when something is wrong. We put them first before ourselves. We sacrifice things we might want to do because they need our care. People might say, “Okay, Shaira, it’s just a dog.” But to me? He’s everything. Because family isn’t just about who we share DNA with. It’s about who we can’t imagine life without.


Life is unpredictable. Yesterday, my dad got some scary news. If you don’t know me, my dad is one of my favourite people in this world. We are so alike it’s almost funny. We love movies, music, sweets, travelling, clothes. We both have Peter Pan syndrome, always craving adventure, never wanting to feel tied down.

When we argue, we talk it out. No grudge-holding, no silent treatment. He gives advice, but never judgement. He lets me make my own mistakes and loves me just the same. So when my mom told me he was diagnosed with Stage 1 skin cancer, I cried. Instantly. They caught it early, but it’s in a scary spot. And in that moment, the fragility of life hit me in a way it never has before.

We walk through our days assuming our people will always be there. That there will always be another holiday, another dinner, another phone call. But life is unpredictable. It changes in an instant. My life without my dad? Unimaginable. But it reminded me of something we all tend to forget: Love your people hard. Now. Today. Every damn day.

Family Is the Most Important Thing—Period. Not material things. Not pettiness. Not money. Not grudges.

Just love.

Because, at the end of the day, family, in all its forms, is the purest love we will ever have. So this Family Day, let’s love our people a little harder. Let’s put the phone down, be present, give real hugs, say ‘I love you’ out loud. Because at the end of it all, it’s family over everything.

Peace, love & family first. Always! xoxo

73 Comments

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    March 23, 2020 at 8:35 pm

    Hi Shaira,

    Came across your web page on Facebook. You write from the heart, beautiful.. Love the pic of Joe and the doggo! Its heartwarming to see that he has embraced life with a furry family member!

    Keep writing, I’ll keep reading.. 🙂
    Your aunt, Carla

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