Day 1 of 365…

Happy first day of a brand new year!

I’ve never really been one to buy into the whole “new year, new me” thing. But I do believe in fresh starts. In pressing reset. And while I think we can choose to become better versions of ourselves any day of the year, there’s something about a new year, or even a birthday, that makes that reset feel more official.

That said, I do have this weird little quirk where I have to start things on a Monday. If I eat badly (which, let’s be real, usually means inhaling way too many sweets), I tell myself, Okay, next Monday, I’ll do better. And until that Monday comes, I’ll basically eat all the sweets in sight because, you know, go big or go home. Same with budgeting, if I’ve spent too much, the next paycheck is my reset. And quitting smoking? Always “when the weekend is over.” Still working on that one.

But when a new year rolls around, I do like to take a moment to reflect. And let me tell you, 2018? It was weird. Not just for me, for a lot of people. It felt like the year of being tested. Like we were all stuck in some Bermuda Triangle of chaos. I even saw a meme the other day of a little cartoon girl taking out the trash, and on the garbage bag? 2018. Yeah, that felt accurate.

But 2019 is here now. And my motto? New year, bad habits of 2018, not for me. In 2018, I let way too many negative thoughts take up space in my mind. I gave them power. I let them dictate my mood, my energy, my happiness. And the thing is, I’m a naturally goofy, lighthearted person. I love to laugh. I love finding joy in the little things. And you can’t do that when the air around you is heavy with negativity.

One of the best things about 2018, though? The conversation around mental health finally started getting the attention it deserves. It made so many of us feel less alone. And if I’m being honest, having anxiety is something I only really came to terms with in the last couple of years. Maybe it was always there. Maybe I just didn’t recognize it. But when it hit? It hit. If you deal with anxiety, you know what I mean. It’s relentless. It makes you focus on things you know you shouldn’t, but you can’t stop. It’s like a storm in your mind, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t always predict when it’ll hit.

For me, I’ve found comfort in positive affirmations. In choosing what I focus on. I know this is where I sound like a total hippie, but hear me out. When I was younger, I read The Secret. I remember rolling my eyes, thinking, Oh, okay, so I just say I want something and the universe hands it to me? Yeah, right. But that’s not really how it works.

It’s about energy. About mindset. About training yourself to believe you deserve the things you want instead of feeding into self-doubt. It works with both the positive and the negative. Ever wake up and stub your toe first thing in the morning? And then the rest of the day is just a mess? It’s not just bad luck, it’s that mindset. You focus on the frustration, and the day just snowballs. But if you had stubbed your toe, brushed it off, and moved on? The rest of your day might have been fine.

Same with being late. Ever notice that when you’re stressing about not being late, you almost always end up late? It’s like your brain locks onto the wrong thing, and suddenly, every single red light, slow driver, and minor delay is working against you.

When I first read The Secret, I thought, Fine, let’s test this. I was in hair school at the time, and I had always wanted to go to Vegas. So I wrote myself a check for $1,500. In the memo? Trip to Vegas. I carried that check around for nine months, told no one about it, but truly believed I’d find a way to make it happen. And then? I graduated, and my parents surprised me with, yep, $1,500 as a graduation gift. Call it coincidence. Call it luck. Or call it what it really is, manifestation.

I won’t lie and say I’ve been perfect at keeping up with this mindset. I’ve definitely dropped the ball at times, but that’s okay. Because every day is a new chance to do better. And that’s what 2019 is about for me.

I once had a psychiatrist tell me that it’s human nature to focus on what we don’t want instead of what we do want. And that’s what makes it so easy to spiral. Negativity feeds itself. The more we let it in, the stronger it gets. It’s like rolling a snowball downhill, once it starts, it just keeps growing. The hardest part is stopping it. But the good news? We can.

So let’s make 2019 about rolling huge snowballs of positivity. Let’s believe in the things we want instead of dwelling on what we don’t.

I know I’m someone who holds onto things longer than I should. Guilt, mistakes, things I know I should let go of but can’t seem to. I need to work on that. Life is about learning, growing, changing, no matter what age we are or how many times we stumble along the way.

This year, I want to be the best version of myself again. I want to laugh more. To forgive, myself and others. To carry love into this year, not hate. To see beauty in things, even when life throws curve balls. Because it will. Life isn’t about avoiding the hard times, it’s about how we react to them.

So, for 2019? I choose to believe in good karma. To be good karma. To do right by others, not because I expect anything in return, but because that’s who I want to be. I won’t punish myself for my past mistakes, I’ll learn from them. Because at the end of the day, I’m just a girl who loves to laugh. Who cherishes the little things. Who wants a life filled with happiness, love, and maybe, just maybe, that khaki green VW campervan I know I’ll have one day.

So here’s my wish for all of us this year: Let’s forgive ourselves. Let’s forgive others. Let’s focus on the good, even when it’s hard to find. Let’s believe in what we want and trust the universe to meet us halfway.

Because no matter what’s behind us, what really matters is what’s ahead. And I have a feeling it’s going to be good.

Peace, Love & Believe xoxo