50 Days of (Toronto) Summer

If you know, you know what this post is named after. If not, it’s from one of my favourite movies, 500 Days of Summer. Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Tom, who is a greeting card writer and endlessly hopeless romantic, is blind sided when his girlfriend, Summer, played by the adorable Zooey Deschanel suddenly dumps him. He reflects on their 500 days together to try to figure out when their love went sour. In turn, Tom rediscovers his true passions in life. Well, in taking on Tom’s theme and the very quick redirection my life is taking, I too am doing some reflecting… 

These last couple of years have been daunting!! Pandemic, world lockdown, wars, food shortages. Racism, mental health, gun violence, prejudice, is at a devastatingly all time high. I know what you are thinking, what a way to start a post, BUT in lieu of all of those difficult things and others we are personally experiencing in our own lives, it definitely has put life in perspective! Many of us, I’m sure, are trying to make a change. Hopefully for the better! Supporting causes to help those in need. Trying to better our own selves. Prayers sent out into the world, hoping for some light at the end of the tunnel. From the many people I talk to on a daily basis in my position of being a hairstylist there’s one thing we are all wanting… peace! Peace for the world. Peace in our minds. Peace for people struggling. Peace in our lives. 

As a result of all the heaviness, and I cannot believe I’m actually going to say this, I’ve decided to make the move from my current hometown of Toronto, back to my roots in Quebec. 50 days left of summer in Toronto, and counting! The events that have hit the whole world and seem to keep piling up have made many of us rethink where we are in life, what will make life easier and us happier. I have definitely put in a lot of hours of reflection into what to do next with this precious time I have. My parents, like Summer did to Tom, blindsided me a bit when they were actually serious about moving back to Quebec. Tough decision for them because trust me I think my parents like Toronto more than I do, but it makes sense for their future to go back home. With many tears shed in deliberation, I too have made the decision to leave this vibrant city I’ve called home for the last 23 years and make the move back to my childhood home alongside them. Scary and sad but exciting!! 

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m originally from a small city in Quebec called Gatineau. I was born in Toronto, but moved to Gatineau where my mothers side resides when I was two years old. My parents met in Toronto. My father and his family moved from Portugal to Toronto and my mothers family moved from Portugal to Quebec. I always wished they had moved to California, New York or somewhere else in Europe, but hindsight is 20/20!  My mother moved to Toronto when she was 18 to live with some family she had here and that’s how my parents met. To me, although I was born in Toronto, Gatineau always felt like my home. A little piece of my heart was always left behind. I guess because all my family is still there, as well as my two first ever best friends. Core memories I have made originated in Gatineau and so was most of my childhood, which are some of the most crucial stages of life! It shapes you into who you are. That’s why I’ve always thought of myself as a small town, big city girl. I love the quiet, nature, space and pleasant people of a small town but I also love all the different cultures, food, busy streets and things to do in a big city.

I am so grateful to have had my teenage/young adult years in the big city of Toronto tho. I’ve had so many wonderful moments here. Gen Z and Gen Alpha won’t really know this these days sadly, because Toronto has changed so much in the 20 plus years I have been here, but Toronto was so much fun! The night clubs were amazing, literal works of art. People were social, you’d always meet new faces when out and about. There were so many social events and festivals and people were all so fun and lovely. You were never scared to run around the streets at night. Not to diminish what Toronto is now, but it has changed. Everyone is so tense. The hustle and bustle of the almost half way to 7 million people here can be suffocating and although my favourite city in the world is New York, one of the busiest cities, Toronto has to me become a little too stressful. When I say to you I CANNOT BELIEVE I’M SAYING THAT, it is sadly but truly how I feel! Although I think i’m more sad about the fact that that is my age talking. I’m 2 years shy of my 40’s and I can’t believe i’m saying that either!! Insert Kim Kardashian crying face emoji!! At this stage of my life I want a house. I want a big backyard. I want to drive places and not want to pull out my hair because of traffic being insane. I want to walk my dog in nature, not busy car/pedestrian/bicycle filled streets. I want to be able to afford a house! Toronto is an amazing city but it has become hard to live in and even harder to find a house most people can afford! Some of my cousins who live in Gatineau are already in their third homes, where most people I know here haven’t even been able to afford one, myself included! Of course there’s a trade off going from a city of 6,313,000 to one of only 1,423,000 and really that number is Ottawa and Gatineau combined, but I think I’m ready for it! I’ve always been a lover of change. New experiences, new places. I get restless when life gets stagnant! And although Gatineau is where i’m originally from, like a friend of mine there put it so well, it will be nice to get to know the calmer city in my adult years! 

Looking back on my time here, there’s so many things i’m gonna miss so much…. My favourite street, Queen Street. The trendy dining and nightlife. The cute fashion boutiques. Art galleries, antique shops and bookstores. Like a little slice of New York city’s Soho in Toronto. Kensington market. The little hippie market, filled with vintage clothing shops, tons of multicultural foods, fruit and vegetable stands, and the streets always filled with pedestrians in the summer. Trinity Bellwoods park that has been a staple in my life. From going to high school down the street, to festivals and concerts in the park, to just sitting on the lawn people watching with my friends. Working at the Skydome as a teenager. I know it’s now called the Rogers Centre, but it will always be Skydome to me. All the nightclubs we went to in our twenties. Money, Tonic, Plastique, Lot 332, My Apartment etc.. The youth missed out on those clubs! (Man that made me feel so old!) No matter where we Torontonians go, we have the beautiful view of the CN Tower lit up in different colours off in the sky in the background. The ever so cool structure of the ROM building. High park cherry blossoms in the summer. Scarborough bluffs beach. The Toronto islands where I went on my first boat party. The luxurious cabanas at Cabana Pool bar, making you feel like you’re on a tropical vacation. Casa Loma, St. Lawrence Market, the Distillery District, Graffiti alley, Bloor Street, Yorkville. College Street, which was literally my base in Toronto for all these years. Going to Vivolis with my girlfriends, one of my favourite restaurants. The historic lights of Honest Ed’s, which is sadly no longer around. The vibrant colours and charming boardwalk of The Beaches. St. Clair Avenue where all the soccer games were watched and wins celebrated. My beloved Lakeshore where I would always go by myself, sit on a rock and look out onto the water either writing in my journal, listening to music or just looking out at the lake reflecting on my life. Good old Canada’s Wonderland. My parents cute house, where many a party, beer bong tournament, sleepovers, barbeques, family get togethers have been had. I’ll miss sitting out in their backyard with my dog running around looking for that one mouse he saw one time or him looking up at the roof seeing if his nemesis, the raccoon, will come back. Salon Solis, where I’ve worked for 15 years and made so many friends and memories. The list can literally go on and on. And although I have lived in many places during my life, Toronto will always be my home! I’ve spent more than half my life here and made so many amazing (and not so amazing lol) memories!!

Half of my heart will always be with Toronto. So many firsts were had here and I will never forget any of it!! First love, first heartbreak. First nightclub, first real job. Getting my license, first car. First cell phone, first career, first girls trip. First school dance, first time living on my own, first roommate. First setback and first comeback! Toronto is so important to me and always will be but the only thing that even the thought of it makes me not want to go is, my friends. If you’re lucky in life, you’ll have even one handful of friends you’ve known since childhood and I’m lucky to say I’m one of those people. I met my three best girlfriends right when I moved to Toronto in grade 10 and we have been friends ever since. 23 years and going strong!! As if moving to a big city at 15 and going to a new high school wasn’t hard enough, but being the small town skater girl who wore no makeup and extra baggy pants to a Toronto high school where everyone had such different style, girls with full faced makeup and wore heels, was another thing! I stuck out like a sore thumb, but my girls accepted the weirdly dorky and slightly (well maybe a little more than slightly) impulsive girl I still am and I have loved them like sisters ever since. It breaks my heart to think I wont be a last minute, quick drive away!! Although as we grow older and don’t get to see each other like we used to.. jobs, husbands, kids, busy schedules, adulthood… It’s comforting to know they are still just a (little bit longer) car ride away. Like the saying goes, some people in your life are there for a reason, a season and a lifetime and I know no matter where I am in the world, my girls are there for a lifetime! And ultimately the goal is to live in New York or somewhere in Europe so eventually it will be a plane ride away 😉

In life you take different paths, and mine is taking me back home. I will never forget you Toronto, now it’s time to continue down the next road.

It’s not a goodbye, it’s a see you later!

Peace, Love & embrace your journey xoxo